Satire: Pope Francis Abolishes the Season of Lent

During the Holy Father’s private audience with an elite group of cynical sourpuss cardinals, bishops and priests, he has decided to abolish the season of Lent and extend the Christmas Season all the way until Easter.Sourpuss

He was quoted as saying, “The Church is to be a place of joy…JOY! But you sourpuss priests and bishops are dragging me down with your daily mortifications and acts of self-denial.”

Some of the priests who support this move sent letters to the Pope in hopes that he would call them and give them a pat on the back.  Meanwhile, media outlets have suggested that the Pope’s comments are a sign that eventually the Pope will one day abolish sin in general.  CNM reported:  “The Pope is finally bringing suffering to an end, by promoting a mindset where one serves himself rather than through pious acts of self-denial.  This will usher in a new age for the Church, so that it can finally catch up to the secular-mindset which is ending poverty and other bad stuff.”

The SSPX and followers of Maria Divine Mercy gathered and made a decision to fast and pray twice as hard during the Lenten season, and make sure that every time they come across a smiling Christian they remind them of the true meaning of the season of Lent…which is to be celebrated in the hearts of all the faithful all year around.  An anonymous member of a radical Catholic Group was quoted as saying on their official WordPress DesertBlog:  “Lent is the desert and in the desert we encounter God…only in the Desert – we never encounter Him in joy because that is sinful.”

Fr. Billy was interviewed at Holy Name Parish, somewhere in Canada.  He said, “I think it is great that the Pope is embracing the joyful season of the Church.  Surely the fruits of self-denial will never bring authentic peace and joy to a Christian.  We must always Jesusembrace the resurrection of Christ and the little baby and let us wipe out from history, from our memories that nasty business with the Pharisees and Calvary.”  Soon after this Fr. Billy ordered his parishioners to remove the corpus from all crosses in the Church and Rectory.

*please be assured none of the above is true…

1 Comment

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One response to “Satire: Pope Francis Abolishes the Season of Lent

  1. Father Chris, this is hysterical, and I would repost it on Facebook, but I am afraid people would take it seriously and not read to the very end. Some poor soul is having a hissy fit over the one about the priest having to ask to purchase the new tabernacle. You have a talent with words….hahaha

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